Buying a Home is SCARY

If you're like me, when you hear words and phrases like "mortgage interest rates," "tax deductible" and "FHA Home Loan," your palms start to sweat. Can't Mom or Dad take care of this one? Nope. You're an adult now. Time to put away the Glee DVDs and face the REAL music (...oh, is that just me?).

When I insisted on seriously looking for homes in late 2009, er, I mean, when my husband and I agreed to buy a home in late 2009, I'd already been scouring online listings for years. Who doesn't love poking around the inside of someone else's house? (I leave their medicine cabinets alone, though!) We were both 27 years old.

Living in New Jersey, the most densely populated state in the U.S., real estate, and real estate taxes, are pretty high. We weren't sure we'd ever be able to afford a house, but after two and a half years of apartment-living, we wanted to invest our money wisely. House prices and mortgage interest rates (there's that dreaded phrase again!) were at an all-time low, and there was the added incentive of getting an $8,000 home-buyer credit from the government.

The first thing you'll want to do when seriously looking for a home is to get prequalified for a home loan, i.e., covince a bank that they should loan you the money to buy a home, you know, tell them you're not going to miss payments by trying to reenact scenes from "The Hangover." For some strange reason they insist on seeing things like your bank/credit card statements and will need your Social Security Number, but you can do all of this online at places like Quicken Loans.

Getting pre-qualified isn't strictly necessary, but realtors will take you a lot more seriously if you take this extra step. Once you're pre-qualified, the bank tells you how much they're willing to loan to you. It's usually a much higher number than you should actually borrow, unless you want to be house poor (voice of experience right here, folks).

After that, it's time to start shopping! When looking for homes, make sure to ask lots of boring questions about things like:

• The age of the home (Is having a new home important to you?)
• Gas or electric heat? (Having a gas stove is important to culinary masters like my husband and me)
• Water - public or well? (My husband and I had to learn about wells after we bought our first home, the difference being you have to pay to get the water tested before you move in, about $350)
• Is there a septic system? (We had to learn about this, too!)

Don't be fooled by pretty paint/decor, and likewise don't be turned off by hideous wallpaper and shag carpeting. Pay attention to the structure of the house, cracks in the ceiling, leaks in the basement, etc. Remember that the cosmetics are easily changed, but things like the general lay-out and the compromised integrity of the home could cost you big bucks down the line.

When you've found your dream home, your realtor will talk to the seller's realtor to make an offer. The decision is ultimately up to you on what price to offer, but your realtor should advise you based on the market. My husband and I offered significantly less than the asking price, and eventually met the seller in the middle. Bidding too low can offend the seller, though, and you don't want to do that (we did, eep!). This negotiation process usually happens quickly, and there can be a lot of back-and-forth phone calls in 1-2 days where you think you're going to have a heart attack from the anticipation of it all. Hopefully they'll accept your bid and then more fun begins!

If your verbal offer is accepted, you'll be asked to sign a contract to make it official, which usually requires going to your realtor's office very quickly after your offer was accepted, and doesn't take long.

Once your offer is officially accepted and the contract is signed, you need to schedule a home inspection right away (you can easily research qualified home inspectors online). You'll agree on a time to meet him or her at your potential future home. Ask as many questions as you can think of while the inspection is occuring, and write down what they tell you about the home! (Sometimes they even tell you handy things about the light switches, etc. that will be useful for years to come.)

Next comes securing your loan (i.e., getting officially approved). Do feel free to shop around with lenders to find the best interest rate, and not stick with who pre-qualified you. We used a family recommendation for our mortage broker who guided us through the process. Because we took out a government (FHA) loan, a lot of the terms of the contract were pre-specified, like how much money we could put down on the house. It also required us to show a LOT more paperwork, so it was a fairly painful process that took weeks.

Assuming your home inspection and loan check out, you should be able to schedule a closing date. This is when you and your lawyer (sometimes the reatlor[s] and the seller, too) meet at the lawyer's office to sign all of the paperwork and you get the keys/title to your new home! This can take 1-2 hours (or even longer), but if you're like me, it'll happen on your birthday and be the best birthday gift ever!

Finally, you get to convince all of your friends to help you move on Mother's Day, and pay the price for years to come.

Homeownership is a lot how I imagine parenthood must be. Incredibly stressful, but wildly rewarding.

Good luck and please feel free to ask me any questions (or share your tips) in the comments below!